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mommy survival guide

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The last few weeks have had me talking about relationship advice on my Thirsty Thursday episode I do each week but I have been saving some motherhood topics for today.  As many know who follow my blog or YouTube channel, I am a Stay at Home / Work from Home mom and honestly, I’m proud of it.  I wish each mother could experience staying at home with their children and spending the time with them watching their child or children grow.  But, being a stay at home mom comes with a certain personna, or stigma I shall say, that can sometimes hit a few nerves.  Today we are going to do a “Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom” segment – something I used to do a lot on my channel and blog in the past and we are going to touch base on the following subjects.  These questions were emailed to me for advice and topic consideration…

” Do you think Sta at Home Moms are lazy?  What do you think about what is said about Stay at Home Moms, calling them lazy or that they have an easy life and don’t do anything.”

” Do you feel you push your kids too hard to be successful?  Do you think some parents can push their kids too hard to be great?”

Be sure to watch the video embedded above or click here to watch the episode directly on YouTube. Remember that this is just a chill and relaxed conversation and I’m simply stating my opinion as a person and not bashing on anyone else’s opinion on the subject.

Thanks so much for joining me on this episode of Thirsty Thursday.  Don’t forget – if you are interested in submitting questions or topics for future episodes, you can email them to thehoneygirlk@gmail.com.  As a reminder, I am not a professional at all and do not get paid for my advice.  All opinions are my own – my honest thoughts on the subject and I am in no way judging anyone for the choices they make or their own opinions, these are just mine.

Signature Honey

We are just a few short days away from Mother’s Day and I can’t help buy reflect on my first Mother’s Day 11 years ago.  It seems like the time has flown all too quickly and the minutes of the day just drift away like they are non-existent.  Looking back on what I’ve learned and what I’ve accomplished gives me a sense of pride.  I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I never knew how rewarding it would be for me and how much I loved this job with all my heart.

My boys are growing so quickly and I have learned after becoming a mother that sometimes a little acknowledgement, peace of mind and inspiration go a really long way.  I wanted to take the time to write a letter to all moms – new, soon to be and those with years of experience.  This is my Mother’s Day Gift to you and I hope you enjoy!

My sons
Luke, Kevin and Isaiah – 2011

Dear Moms…

1. As much as we wish it would, time stands still for no one and father time ticks and tocks the days and nights away.  While our days may be filled with challenges, they may also be filled with laughter and delight.  Take the time each day to stop and think about the things you are grateful for.  I keep a gratitude journal specifically for this reason.  It allows me to reflect back on other days and remember the memories that we often times soon forget.  Remember that each day is filled with some form of happiness… there is always sunlight at the end of a storm.

2.  It’s okay to want a little “me” time.  I’m still trying to grasp the concept myself, but at least now I have accepted that wanting some time to myself does not mean that I don’t love my children.  It just means that I need a break sometimes.  Even if this means you are gonna vegetate in front of the computer, online window shop and have a glass of Vino… so long as it gives you a moment to yourself – hey, that’s great.

Kevin Kaeo
Kevin 2008

3.  Don’t feel bad about wanting to capture every moment on camera.  Your children will thank you later, trust me.  My three sons grew up in front of a camera and I snapped away at every moment and tried to capture as many memories as possible.  Even with a camera attached at the hip, I found that some of their earlier years were missed because I was caught up doing other things.  It’s okay to stop and tell someone you need to take a photo, it’s okay to capture the moment for your memories.  Snap away and always have a camera on hand.  You don’t want to look back at the past and realize you missed something because you were too busy with something else.

4.  Each parent has their own set of advice for new or soon to be mommies.  It can be difficult to hear sometimes and I know that I struggled with this (still do), for a long time.  If it’s something you can use in your life as a momma, then incorporate it into your own.  If you can’t use, do not worry – just move on and thank the person who gave it to you.  Parents sometimes forget that each child is their own individual and what might work for one child, certainly will not work for another.   Do not feel obligated to make someone’s advice work for you – even if they say it will and you know it won’t.

Luke
Luke 2010

5.  This one might only pertain to moms of twinnies… but needless to say, it had to be said.  Please please do not tell a mom of twins (new or otherwise), that you know exactly what they are going through because your children are just 10 months or a year or so apart.  IT IS NOT THE SAME.  I won’t tell you how many verbal arguments I have gotten into with parents over this.  Having two children exactly the same age (twins) is not the same as having a child just a year older.  By the time you have your second child (or the child born a year after), your first child is already starting to feed themselves, talking, walking, etc.  It is not the same experience as two infants or children the same age.  Many can argue the fact, but as a mother of twins, it was absolutely difficult for me to deal with and it was the cause of MANY arguments with other people.  Does that mean that you are less than I because I am a mother of twins – OF COURSE NOT, but they are not a comparison or similarity by any means.

6.  It’s okay to splurge on yourself once in a while.  I’m pretty lucky in that I have a husband that consistently reminds me that it’s time to buy myself something nice, otherwise, it goes on the back burner and I completely forget.  Choose out something from your wishlist and if you can swing it, get it.  Ask your hubby for a Sephora Gift Card (hint hint) and pick up that new perfume or lipstick you’ve been eyeing.  The choices are endless and I want moms to know that it’s okay to want to spoil yourself once in a while.  It’s too often that we forget about ourselves and are always thinking about others, so it’s okay to have a little treat now and then.

Isaiah
Isaiah – 2010

7.  A child’s smile can warm your heart.  But, don’t let that fool you… that doesn’t mean you have to give-in and give them anything and everything they want.   Sometimes structure is key and I know it has been very essential in raising my children.  There are many out there that will say you are being too harsh… but don’t let them affect how your raise your child.  They are your children after all – not your aunts, sisters, mothers, brother from another mother… they are your children and you set the rules.

8.  Your are a strong woman!  It takes more than just physical strength to handle the job of a mom.  You are not only strong physically and mentally, you are courageous, creative and a complete genius.  Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!

family

9.  Before having your first child, no one ever tells you that it is a 365 day a year job, no days off, no weekends – no holidays… no pay. lol We don’t get a lunch break, no vacation time off and there is no worker’s comp either.  It has made me appreciate my mom more after having children.  While I knew that my mom was a very hard worker and she kept our family afloat, I truly had no idea what it was like until I stepped into this role.  My mom also made it all work with less than half of what my family has financially.  My siblings and I are all healthy and grown up and I am proud to have learned so much from my own mom.

10.  This is an important one!  After having children, sometimes we lose that sense of sexy.  I know after having my boys, I gained twice my weight and I was not feeling very pretty.  Gaining weight after childbirth is not the only thing that makes us not feel beautiful.  Emotions are running wild, we’re tired, we don’t want to put makeup on and pajamas are our best friend.  All these things add up to feeling frumpy and blue and that doesn’t even include the women who suffer from postpartum as I did.  When someone pays you a compliment, believe them.  For a long time my husband would tell me how beautiful I was and I thought to myself… “what’s wrong with this man?  Who in the world is he looking at?”  I still think that way sometimes.  But when your husband tells you are your beautiful – believe him.  This is not an easy concept for many and sometimes we just don’t feel beautiful.  But beauty is much more than looks and a woman who can survive on two hours of sleep and no food in their belly and still be able to cook a whole meal for the house, pay the bills and make sure each child is happy and healthy – well… she has a beauty within that most only dream of having.

My boys

So, at the end of the day – we are here on this Earth because of our Mothers… well, our Dads too.  Most of us are who we are because of these women and those who are mothers, well – we are strong, stealth ninjas with a heart of gold.  At the end of the day, our lives are no longer our own and times can be tough, but there is one thing I know about being a mom… it is the BEST, MOST REWARDING JOB IN THE WORLD and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

To all the mommies out there, new, soon to be and those that are experienced just know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  Wishing you all a wonderful Mother’s Day!

xo

Signature Honey

They say that becoming a mommy is one of the most rewarding things a woman can experience in her lifetime.  Before having children, I’ll admit that I did not think that was possible and after having them, I now know that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my kids.  They drive me crazy sometimes and I don’t even know what sleep is anymore – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  While I learned a ton of things after having my children and continue to learn new things each day, there are 10 things that I have learned after becoming a mom that stick out to me the most.  This is supposed to be a bit comical – but at the same time, a realization that our lives are no longer our own and our hearts will always belong to someone else.

“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

– Elizabeth Stone 

Our Boys

  1. It is not always a good thing when your children are quiet.
  2. You develop ninja skills overnight when you must keep your child from climbing, falling, running or putting things in their mouth.
  3. Food is no longer your own and to them, your food always looks better than what they have on their own plate… even if it is the same food you have on yours.
  4. LEGOS, WOODEN BLOCKS, ARMY MEN AND HOT WHEELS while cool to play with are the most painful things your feet will step on.
  5. Unless your children are in bed asleep or out of the house, you will no longer have privacy when you are using the bathroom
  6. Your new favorite Soap Opera or Chick Flick is anything on Disney Channel – you even sing along to the songs and can quote scenes. “The Doc is in and she’ll fix you up – if you’re a toy then you’re in luck”
  7. Your arms become race tracks for hot wheels, bikes and other types of vehicles.
  8. You no longer know what a full night’s sleep is.
  9. You are now an alien – You have eyes behind your back, six extra limbs, you are a lie detector and you’re psychic.
  10. They say you cannot live without your major organs… but yet, the most important thing I learned after becoming a mom… “Your heart really does go walking around outside your body!

So I wish all of you mommies out there (and those soon to be) that you make your own memories out of the things you learned after becoming a mom.  Know that when times are tough and your children can be a handful, that there are other mothers out there that have lived through and are living through some of what you are experiencing.  Becoming a mom is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my lifetime and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything in the whole World.  While challenges are constant, LOVE IS FOREVER!

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Photo courtesy of  David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ugh… I HATE being sick and hate when anyone in my family is sick too.  Yes, HATE is a harsh word… but I’m sure all of us know that it is not something we like to deal with EVER.  Since it’s that time of year when Flu and Sickness hit our families like a crazy whirlwind that we don’t like – I figured I would share a post with all of you and My Tips For Keeping The Flu Away.

1.)  Keep your distance if someone looks ill.  If someone looks like they may be ill – take special precautions and stay away.  Sometimes people don’t realize that they are a carrier for bacteria.  You don’t have to be impolite or rude, but keep your distance until you know for sure that they are not sick.  Follow your gut.  If that simply cannot be avoided, be sure to wash your hands after any contact with the person in question.  Of course, I don’t want you to feel like you need to alienate the person, but teach your children or keep in mind for yourself that it’s a great habit to have.

2.)  Sanitize your shopping cart.  When grocery shopping – take the time to sanitize the handles of your cart as well as the area where you place your child and your handbag.  Most grocery stores now have sanitizing wipes near the entrance of their stores so you can utilize these to clean your cart.  While you may think germs are not prominent on a shopping cart, those carts hold some of the most terrible bacteria since these stores see thousands of customers a day.

Photo Courtesy of Ambro at http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo Courtesy of Ambro at http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3.)  Be sure to have Sanitizing Gel, liquid or wipes on  you if at all possible.  Most of these types of things will kill up to 98% of surface germs.  Bath and Body Works as well as your local CVS, Walgreens, etc. offers a variety of these options at such reasonable prices.  It is not a waste to invest a little in these items because it can truly help in the long run.

4.)  Take your daily vitamins.  I know a lot of people that say they do not take vitamins because they do not like the way it tastes or they do not want to swallow large pills.  Now a days – they have gummy vitamins or vitamins in drink form.  These are essential in keeping your immune system running strong to keep those germs at bay.  Over the years – I have found that if I do not take my daily vitamins I feel sluggish and tend to get sick much more and faster then if I had been taking them.  If you simply cannot handle vitamins, try to get in at least a cup of Vitamin C (gold ol’ OJ) at least once a day – it will help to a certain extent.  

5.)  Stay home and recover if you are not well.  Last but not least… this rule is especially important for parents or those that are working.  I know that we all need to work for our money and kids need to go to school – but if you or your child is sick, call out and stay home.  There have been so many occasions that my eldest had come home from school sick, then the whole family gets sick – only to find out that he caught it from a classmate that came to school very sick.  I understand daycare is expensive and sometimes it’s not feasible, but think about those that you or your child will and can affect and how the same germ you or your child passed on, can come right back to you.  

I’m not a doctor and most of what I discussed in this post is common sense – but since it is flu season and since I haven’t done a “Mommy Survival Guide” in months, I figured this would be the best time to do so.  Remember… while we can’t avoid getting sick sometimes, we can surely do our best to make sure it is not as bad as it could be.  As a mother, I know how difficult this time of year is.  Most mommies and daddies are running on reserves, tired and beat – but together, we can all help to make it a bit easier on one another.

Last year I posted a video on this subject which you can find here: http://youtu.be/pOlZooba6pg (it’s on my old channel).  Check it out because I go through all the goodies in my Mommy Sick Bag and have more details as to how to keep the flu away or some simple tips to follow.

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