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NOTHING TO DISCLOSE

 

My husband and I have been married for over 15 years and together for almost 20.  I knew that when we started dating, there was a possibility that he would be in some form of Law Enforcement because – well, it’s a legacy honestly.  His Dad, brother, sister, uncles and Great Grandfather are well known in the industry of law enforcement, so I had expected that he would follow in their footsteps one day and that would be his calling.  A few years ago he made the commitment to become a Corrections Officer, or a CO which is a common term used in the field.  I knew what we were getting into as a family, but little did I know how it would affect us and our lifestyle moving forward.

It’s been almost 3 years since my husband was sworn in to be a Corrections Officer and since this is a Lifestyle site, I figured I would turn this particular post into a series, like my “Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom”.  After a few years, I’ve decided that this would be a great way for me to vent, share my ramblings and my support for this man I love.  So – stay tuned for more of these types of posts in the future. Now, let’s get into what it’s like to be a Corrections Officer’s Wife.

confessions of a corrections officer's wife, CO spouse, CO wife, correction officer, corrections officer,

What it is like to be a CO’s Spouse… the shortened version!

Let’s start with the statistics, shall we?  Corrections Officers have a 39 percent higher suicide rate than any other occupation, with a life expectancy of only 58 years.   Many don’t realize that that is 20 years less than the average American.  With mental illnesses like PTSD, anxiety and depression being a huge issue for CO’s in the industry and high divorce rates increasing consistently over the years.  As a couple, my husband and I knew the statistics, but we also know how strong our relationship is, though – I’ll be honest, this job has had its challenges on our strength over the years.

As if those statistics were the only thing we had to look forward to, there is the actual job itself.  Each day my husband walks through the gates of the facility he works in and each day I think about the dangers he faces behind the doors.  As I watch him leave the house, I’m consistently reminded of what lurks in the buildings he works in and I have to entrust his co-workers, his comrades to have his back when I struggle to give up that right to anyone already.  Disease, murderers, criminals – all of which he has to deal with on a daily basis, I have to entrust that he will have the right judgement calls to protect himself and believe that God will bring him home safely to me.

I understand that many in the field of law enforcement may have similar and high demands of what my husband has to deal with daily, but I also see that due to misconstrued issues, assumptions and past issues lend for Corrections Officers to have a bad reputation.  The fact of the matter is, most Corrections Officers do the job of a Police Officer day in and day out with little to no protection or weapon outside of their own bodies, their fists – to protect themselves.  They are the EMT (Emergency Medical Response / Paramedic) on scene, the Fireman to put out fires and the Police Officer with little to no recognition and much less resources than many of those uniformed enforcers have.  They are unrecognized in their job and what they do – day in and day out and many people scoff at what they are because they are ill informed of their daily job or duties.  My husband took an oath to serve a community and protect a population (inmates) and it can often be held against him or his fellow CO’s.  Or, held against me, because I am married to a CO.  The fact of the matter is – Police Officers spend a small portion of time with these criminals, inmates, those that are doing time… only to drop them off at the Correctional Facility where my husband spends his entire day with them until they are released, if they are released.  Again, during this time only protecting himself with his own fists, no weapon to protect himself other than his eyes and his own body.

“He’s a Police Officer, EMT, Fireman all in one!”

I’ve often been asked why my husband doesn’t make appearances as often as he used to on my channel and blog and frankly, it has a lot to do with the safety of our family.  It may seem like it is not a big deal or small sacrifices for great reward but the fact of the matter is – my husband is in a field most people know little about and those that think they know, are assuming or using strong allegation, rumor and no knowledge to judge appropriately.  As a family, a job like this really pulls at the heart strings and waiting as my husband comes home each night safely is one of the hardest things I could have ever experienced as a wife.

We are a strong family that is close and we always have each others back, but something like this can definitely test your strength, your beliefs and your love.  I’ve had sleepless nights, more so now after there have been issues in the modules where my husband has already been injured and I’m sure that this job will continue to weigh on my heart over the years.  I’ve had to explain to our children why their dad could not come home in time to watch a performance, because there are times when there is a lock-down or he is required to work overtime.  I’ve had to fight back tears when my husband comes home to tell me what he had to deal with at work.  I am the protector of my household and children while my husband is away – bearing arms to protect us from dangers and staying strong when I know I just want to fall apart.  But, as a proud wife of a Corrections Officer, I stand tall and thank God for his blessings and for protection over my husband as he continues in his career.  It’s not an easy task, but hey, such is life – right?

If you are a CO’s wife, know that you are not alone.  And while times can get tough and everything and anything will test your strength, there are women like us that are here for support.  Like I mentioned before, I hope to have more of these in the future, so keep an eye out for that.  Even if it’s just something to give you a little guidance or a few words to remind you that you’re not alone, I want to be able to share this with you.

Hold on, have Faith! You are not alone! – Honey

 

Who am I?

Well, it’s obvious that I am a blogger (just call me an editor – lol), Photographer, an art lover and self proclaimed gourmet food aficionado (otherwise known as major foodie) as well as a creative brain waiting to jump out and show the world what I can do.  But, most importantly – I am a Wife and Mother.

"Cut not the wings of your dreams, for they are the heartbeat and the freedom of your soul." - Flavia
“Cut not the wings of your dreams, for they are the heartbeat and the freedom of your soul.” – Flavia

I have a husband named Kevin who has been and continues to be my rock, my strength and my biggest supporter.  If you know anything about me, then you know that for years, I struggled to discover myself and who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.  Through it all, our love has stood the test of time and through our ups and downs – through sleepless nights and times when we had no money, we persevered and looked past it all.  We continue to love one another, commit our hearts to each other and look forward to a lifetime of memories.

A year or so ago I was approached by a colleague that asked me a question that I never thought I would ever have to answer.  But, in answering her question I realized that our world is not what we consistently hope it to be.  While I constantly live in my own fairy tale, many are just longing for love.  Today I share with you her question and my response.

Friend:  “How can you be so in love with someone, after all these years… and talk about him as if you have a new found relationship – like teenagers?  You guys act like you are newly in love.”

My answer: “How can you not? When you give your love to someone, during your wedding vows or other – don’t you commit to them with all your heart and soul? Shouldn’t love be fun and interesting? Shouldn’t you live each day for one another – be there for each other and more importantly, love like you don’t have tomorrow. It’s different when you fall in love with someone and marry them. They are your best friend, your soul mate. Your love for them can only grow more and more as time passes.”

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It’s corny – I know… but it’s true! This is who I am and what I feel inside.  There are times when I get so busy and wrapped up into being a wife and mother, that I often don’t pay attention to how strong my love is.  Sometimes, I find myself in extreme auto-pilot, living through each day as if I were a part of a robotic colony completing each task on automatic mode.  But, while those times can come more often than not, I know that I can always stop and be so thankful for where I am in life and how far it has taken me.

I also mentioned being a mother.  I have three beautiful boys and while they are all their own individual selves with their own personalities, they helped to mold me into the mother I am today.  Through many times of the utmost insanity, my boys have helped me to keep it all together.  I’m not gonna lie, being a mother is already a challenge and topping it off with three VERY active boys is icing on the cake.  My eldest (Kevin Ka’eo) is now 12 years old and is already going through that stage of being “too grown up” for his parents – yikes.  And, the twins (Luke & Isaiah) are now 6 years old with an agenda each all their own.  All of them keep me absolutely on my toes… between school functions, sports and just an overall lack of sleep – but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  These boys are my love bugs, they have captured my heart forever.

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You see, in life – we meet new people, gain new relationships and take on many challenges. I am who I am today because of those who have inspired me to be more than I could ever imagine. I would never change any of it – Never, ever!  I have a strength that many people cease to exude.  It’s not that they don’t have it, but merely because they don’t realize they do.

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The strength behind my soul is my family.  These four people in my life that not only provide the biggest support that I could ask for as a person, but the foundation of which my life succeeds.  I’m stronger because of them and for them and my soul, my heart is whole because of the love I have for them.  They say that love is what makes or breaks a person – it is what develops a person into who they become and what their future will hold.  If that’s the case, I think my future is bright and my soul is strong because I live a love that most people only dream of.

Wishing you all a wonderful day! Thanks for letting me pour out my heart and soul for all of you! xo

“A book is only as strong as its cover that holds and binds its pages.”  – Honey

Signature Honey

Have you ever had those days when you wake up and feel like an epiphany has completely taken over your body?  The feeling overwhelms you and leaves you stunned and in awe.  I swear, it seems like over the last month I have been going through this very thing several times a week.  It delights me that I can go to bed in the evening and wake up the next morning with my head filled with thoughts that I simply can’t wait to get onto paper.  This has been my routine lately and my mind is telling me to pay attention to the signs as they are what my heart is telling me my soul wants.  In 2015, everything I did and everything I strived for had to do with self discovery, finding out who I am and what I want out of life.  It was about growth, not only for myself but my family and about strength because we had to really rely on one another to ensure success or simply to just get by.  This year, I want to take everything I learned from 2015 and incorporate it into my personal “Planner” so to say, that will enable success and ultimately, help me to achieve my life goals.  Let’s face it, living life is an accomplishment already and last year was a challenge all its own.

Hello 2016 - This Life I Love

So, what’s in store and what’s new for Honey?  Well, first of all I really feel like over the years I lost my identity and who I truly am and last year after really accomplishing so much more than I thought I ever could personally, I realized that the little changes I made to my routine and myself created a monster.  Not the scary, freaky and ugly kind, but the kind that really wasn’t satisfied with everything or anything.  I should be tapping myself on the back, applauding my accomplishments and realizing that not only am a I strong, confident and beautiful woman but that I attained and superseded a plethora of goals I had and I didn’t even realize it.

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.” – Maya Angelou

This year 2016 my mind has been made up.  My goal is to engage in my thoughts and bring them all to life.  Like an artist takes to his canvas or a writer to paper, my plan is to really embrace who I am as a person and use that as my strengths, not my weaknesses.  One of the things I plan to do is start with making changes to my blog – I know, I know, yet again.  I realized a lot about myself last year and that is that I lost my sense of personal identity on my site.  I found that I was producing content that lost my personal sense of style.  I love doing product reviews and I really truly enjoy trying new products and new things – but I lost the embodiment of what Honeygirl’s World really is… My World, My Life – the things I love.  My site turned into a plethora of beauty (which isn’t a bad thing), but while my reviews showcased my personality, I felt that I still lost a lot of who I really am.  This year I plan to incorporate more of me into the site and retro back to what it used to be when I first starting blogging.  My site will not only be for reviewing my favorite products, but sharing bits and pieces of who I am and what I love.  I kind of feel like all of that got lost over the years and I plan to bring it all back.  I started Honeygirl’s World as a way to document my life and that is where I plan to take it once again.

Hello 2016 - This Life I Love

So what can you expect from me?  Well, as if I wasn’t a blatantly honest soul – you can expect that much and more.  I really want to hold myself accountable for all the things that I let slack over the years.  My goal is to keep on top of YouTube, posting three or more videos a week – we’ll see how that turns out and just keep that portion of my life much more organized.  I want to really keep on top of my blog – posting 5x or more a week, preferably more and work at keeping the content fresh and exciting but also weave in so much more of myself that you’ll feel like we are bff’s and know me on a personal level.  I want to also check off things from my bucket list and in order to do that I must be more diligent and really make this “Stay at Home, Work From Home Mom” thing work.  I want to make even more time for family… my family – my husband and children are my everything and so this year I plan to really be “Super Mom & Wife”.

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love…” – Jim Carrey

In a week, I’ll be turning 36 years old and I’ve reached that point in my life where I don’t think I’m even old… the 30’s are the new 20’s anyway.  I’ve embraced my looks, my beauty and what I look like on the outside so now I just need to embrace my beauty on the inside and continue to feed my soul.  Will you be on this journey with me?  I hope you’ll stick around and see!

Wishing you all a wonderful 2016 and a year filled with endless blessings and happiness!

xo

Signature Honey

 

Is it just me or is this week dragging on even with the Labor Day Holiday this past Monday?  Honestly, I feel it is just taking forever but needless to say – I’m glad it is finally Thursday.

 THIRSTY THURSDAY - Updates & Dear Beautiful People | 09.10.15

Today for this week’s segment of Thirsty Thursday we get on a personal level about some updates with my health.  I also discuss a few things that have been on my mind lately like the negativity in society and press samples as well as so much more.  Check out my video embedded below or click here to watch it directly on YouTube.

Thank you so much for joining me today. Remember – you are beautiful! And, if you are joining me this Thirsty Thursday – whatever your drink of choice, drink responsibly.

xo

Signature Honey

Disclaimer:  As with anything discussed on this site, I hold editorial freedom.  Nothing discussed in this video or post was sponsored for me to feature it.  All opinions are my own and 100% honest and unbiased.

If you follow me on Snapchat – then you know that avenue has pretty much taken the place of my daily vlogs that I used to do on YouTube.  I do miss posting daily vlogs of my life and my family, but editing and craziness can sometimes take its toll and I just haven’t found the time.  If you are on Snapchat – definitely stop on by and check out my daily life as I post several times a day and share my wackiness with you.

My Month on Snapchat - August 2015

I have combined all or most of my snaps from the month of August on my YouTube channel to share with you.  (click here to watch directly on YouTube or embedded below)  Since snaps are deleted daily I have been downloading them to upload to YouTube in place of my vlogs.  Are you on Snapchat?  Add me by scanning the photo (taking a picture) of the thumbnail above as there is a special code in the photo that will allow you to add me directly.

Follow me on snapchat – @honeygirlk1 and share my daily life with me.  I post daily and will also be uploading a few times a month on YouTube so my future snap posts like this one will not be as long.  Have a wonderful weekend loves! xo

Signature Honey

Disclaimer:  I am not being paid to feature or discuss Snapchat – this is just a fun post to share with all of you!

It seems like forever since I have gotten a bit personal on my blog.  Things have been so hectic, I have been behind on my Sunday Letters too.  2014 is a new and fabulous year and I am going to start kicking it in high gear and keep with it – no excuses!  So – I figured this would be a fun post to do and it’s been a while since I have done one anyway.  And, since my birthday lands on the 14th of this month, I figured this would be a great time to share with all of you a little bit about me.  Without further adieu… here are 14 Things I bet you didn’t know about me.

1.  I am so completely head over heels in love with my husband… that some people say I’m weird.  Honestly, I don’t know any other type of love except this one, that feels so perfect and so special. I still get butterflies and my knees still feel weak when he winks at me or looks in my direction.  That “Happily Ever After” kind of love that people only read in Fairy Tales – that’s the kind of love that my husband and I have… when you love with all the being of your heart.   Actually – those that know me, know I am a true romantic at heart… so this may have not been a good thing to add to the list – I think it is pretty apparent. lol

2.  Contrary to blogging about hair, makeup and beauty in general… I do not use makeup on a daily basis.  What you see is what you get with me and I have always been one of those people that lets my personality shine.  I may love makeup and collecting it – but I love a bare face… and I’m so comfortable in my own skin.  I have learned that before anything I must first learn to love myself!

Bare Faced Honey
Honey with No Makeup – Just Me!

3.  My favorite color is purple.  I’m sure most people already know that, but I figured I would share.  When I was a little girl, my mom said she thought my favorite color was brown – because I used my brown color crayon till it was dust and I never used any other color.  I don’t remember that… but I do know I loved purple since Elementary School.  I was always drawn to purple sparkle pens (like the old school Gelly Roll pens).  If a makeup palette has a purple in it – I think I’m pretty much drawn to it in a heartbeat.  I love love love purple lipstick and purple accents like accessories.  I especially love to mix purple and gold eye shadow together to create an eye look (my favorite combo).  I don’t have very many purple outfits considering it’s my favorite color – but will use an accent scarf, bag or footwear to dress up my basic love for black attire.

4.  I normally live off of 3 hours of sleep a night.  I’m not going to lie, there was a time when I got my 8 hours of sleep (probably before the age of 16), but since having children and the fact that I’m a very light sleeper, I am always up and checking on them whenever I hear a noise.  And, my brain never shuts down… I am always thinking of new ways to have fun, crafty play time with my boys, a new blog post, some chore I would like to accomplish, a new meal I would like to create or a makeup look, just to name a few things.  Honestly – I sleep the longest when my husband is home (off from work) and I don’t have to go anywhere.  When he holds me in his arms, I sleep easily knowing that all is good and I can be peaceful.  Otherwise, yup – 3 hours of sleep is my norm.  Hey – it’s not that bad.  Considering I don’t sleep much – I still look pretty damn good without makeup. lol j/k

5.  I have naturally curly hair.  Yes, yes and yes… I know you see this in my posts but you would be amazed at how many times a week people ask me where I go to get a perm.  Speaking of which, I honestly didn’t even know people still got perms… is that still around?  If you look at my dad and his super curly hair, you will surely know where I got it from.  I got the crazy curls (friends used to say I had Kerri Russell hair at one time, before all the color, bleach and stress I put my hair through), my sister Katt has super straight hair like my mom, my brother has super straight hair like my mom and my sister Harmony has wavy hair.  Interesting huh?

6.  I am an Italian Food addict.  While many would think Hawaiian Food is one of my favorite foods… believe it or not, Pizza is a favorite and I would eat any type of Italian food in a heartbeat.  Many would argue that Pizza may not be Italian, but hey… you get the picture. lol  Pasta in all types of sorts and sauces – yummy yummy in my tummy!

7.  I consider myself a True Friend.  If you are a close friend, I will have your back unconditionally.  I trust with all my heart.  It has been my downfall in some of my relationships with past friends, but those that are near and dear to my heart know that I will always be there for you.  Whether a mile away or a whole country between us, I will always be there for you.  But, that also means that since we are close, I have no problem telling you my thoughts and opinions.  Just a few things you’ll have to deal with when you’re friends with me.  If I don’t share with you my opinion, then I don’t consider you a close friend.

8.  I’m an Animal lover, but really do not like cats.  I am a big dog lover – especially when it comes to Pitbulls.  We now have Ikaika, a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel.  He joined our family almost a year ago (January 13, 2013) after losing our beloved Koa (American Red Nose Pitbull) Christmas 2012.  It’s been different having a small dog in our house, but he is such a sweetheart and we love him.  While I don’t discriminate when it comes to dogs or pets in general – I just can’t seem to like cats.  I had a few bad memories from my childhood but for the most part, they are not one of my favorite animals.

Ikaika - our King Charles Cavalier
Ikaika – our King Charles Cavalier

9.   I Love Tea.  While you may see me sporting a coffee drink in photos pretty often, I am actually a tea drinker and love it.  When we were kids, we always had tea with our meals or my dad would make us tea with honey and lemon if we were not feeling well.  It was something I drank for years and I love it.  Green tea, oolong tea, chai tea, you name it – I have probably tried it or already love it.

10.  I used to play the Clarinet and Base Clarinet in my school band.  I was actually really good, ranking as 1st seat and 2nd seat.  I don’t remember much of it now, it’s been so many years since I’ve picked a Clarinet up – but I really enjoyed my time playing.  I come from a musically inclined family – musicians and singers, so we love to play instruments and play music.  I can play the Ukulele, but I can’t hold a very good tune (I think I’m the only one out of my siblings that really can’t sing. lol), but I love music nonetheless – it is my sanctuary.

11.  Prior to dating my husband (1997) my hair was down to my knees… Yes, to my knees in all its curly glory.  I wish I could find photos of me and some of my friends.  Since  I had long hair, I left my hair up most of the time so it wasn’t so much of a fuss.  Honestly, I just recently started leaving my hair down because hair ties and clips were my best friend and I always wore my hair up.  Now – I embrace my long hair and curls.  It’s not to my knees any longer – but just past my behind.  It’s nice to finally be happy with my curly hair and not fight it. lol

12.  I love Photography.  It has been a love of mine since I was a little girl and something my dad instilled in me from a young age.  My father is a nature and landscape photographer and I have loved taking photos for as long as I can remember.  Snapping photos of foliage, flowers, sunsets and landscapes are definitely something I enjoy but capturing a couple in love is what I look forward to.  Over the last 6 years I have had the opportunity to capture beautiful moments of love with my camera and innocence of children from behind the lens.  I always say… “A true photographer can capture the essence of a moment – regardless of their obstacles, training or equipment.  If they love what they do, you will see it in their images.”

Image by: Ho'onani Photography - Honey Kaho'ohanohano
Image by: Ho’onani Photography – Honey Kaho’ohanohano

13.  1, 13 and 14 are my lucky numbers.  I’ll be honest, 1 and 14 were my lucky numbers for years (since I was a little girl) – but it was only recently (in the last 13 years or so) that 13 has been lucky for me because it was not a very lucky number most of my life.  I was one of those people that wished they could crawl under a rock during Friday the 13th because it always brought on a ton of bad luck.  However, after my husband and I got married, he told me that since 13 was his lucky number it would no longer be a bad number for me and that held true ever since.  Case in point – 2013 was friggen awesome for me.  So – 13 is now a lucky number for me along with 1 and 14.  Yay – no more bad luck – just awesomeness!

14.  When I was 4 years old, I was playing in our yard, behind a closed and locked fence and was almost kidnapped.  My dad came out of the house to see a man driving a taxi putting me into the car and closing the door.  Needless to say, I know where I get my self defense tactics from because my dad let loose on the guy.  The Taxi driver claimed that I was playing by myself and that I walked up to him, unlocked the gate and followed him to his car where he had candy waiting for me.  I may have been four, but I remembered exactly what happened and told my dad the whole story.  If my dad had come out a minute later, I would have been someone else’s child today, if I even lived that long.  My dad knocked the guy out and waited for the Police to come – but that’s a whole other story.  To those that know me, know that they can NEVER approach me from behind without first warning me because since that day, I have had some pretty fierce reflexes and self defense became a part of my life.

So – there it is… 14 things about me that I’m sure you probably didn’t know.  I would love to know more about you so if you are interested in sharing, leave yours in the comments below or a link to your post.  Thank you for sharing a little bit of me and my life.  Have a wonderful weekend!

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Last night we had the pleasure of attending a baby party to celebrate a little guy’s one year old birthday.  It was fun, festive and the boys absolutely enjoyed themselves.  From the Lilo & Stitch decor to the Balloon man and face painting, my sons had a blast.

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Luke & Isaiah posing for the camera while in the bouncy house.

Kevin Ka'eo at the Party

Big brother Ka’eo (Kevin) with his Balloon Bow & Arrow

Twins with their Grandma

The twins Luke & Isaiah showing off their Balloon Swords with their Mama Barbara (Grandma).

The boys had a blast and the entertainment was awesome.  Sometimes we forget to stop and smell the roses and it was nice to just sit down, relax and enjoy good company.  My husband worked earlier in the day so it gave us the opportunity to spend time with him as well – which is always awesome!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

xo ~Honey