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I am burdened with so many emotions right now.  Honestly, I’m excited because after months (maybe even a year) of not doing a post like this – I’m proud to say that Sunday Letters is up and running at this moment.  I’m excited because it seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been able to write like this.  But, on the other hand, I’m filled with dread and an overwhelming sense of anxiety building up inside.  My Sunday Letters posts are a way for me to get a bit personal here and a way for me to put myself out there for others to read.  I miss it, but use it as a way to hold me accountable of things I set forth for myself.  It’s been a long while since I’ve done a post like this – so I’m going to get real for a moment and get you all caught up.

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Ugh… where do I begin?  It’s already March and I have been sick so many times over the last few months that I can’t even count or begin to.  I rang in the new year with the flu and I feel like it’s just all piling up on me like the plague.  No matter what I do to get my health back in check, I find myself dwindling into the despair of sick and tired… literally.  I have also been struggling with my weight.  What the frick is up with my weight?  No matter what I do health wise, it seems like I’m putting on weight versus losing no matter the countless hours and sweat I put into trying to drop the pounds.  My skin has been freaking the frick out… like literally freaking out and my once good skin is now proving that it has an alter ego that is mean and evil.  My skin is freaking out so bad it is worst now than it had been when I was in my teens.  How is that even possible?  How could this be?

“Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it…” – R.H. Sin

I think the health issues I’ve been having over the last year have been something that has literally been keeping my faith and my energy down.  Over the last 6 months I’ve had every possible friend contact me and tell me “I have this new product line or product for you to try and it will make your health better, help you lose weight.”  Trust when I say I have heard it all.  What I really want to tell these friends is that “I’m not your get rich quick guinea pig that you can dump your new product on to make money off of.”  I know, I might be a little harsh here, but it’s true.  Instead of telling me… “I’m sorry that you are going through this, how can I help?”  I get “hey, try this product and start using it faithfully and it will help you get better quick.”  Who the frick do these people think they are talking to?  I’m just over it.

Over the last 8 months, I have had more tests done to me than people have had in their lifetime.  And, I might add – these are not easy on my body.  Taking blood is like seeing a vampire for a neck bite.  I don’t have easy veins and they are what phlebotomist call “disappearing veins” because they move or you think they are there but it’s all an illusion.  Just to get a blood test done, I get poked and prodded over 5 times and then the blood suckers don’t even get enough blood to complete their testing.  I had to have a CT Scan and Endoscopy done within the last 8 months as well and the CT scan required the technician to send me to an ultrasound tech to find my veins so he could start my IV, a procedure that should have taken 15 minutes took 2 hours.  My Endoscopy – again, finding my vein to start my IV posed a challenge for the nurses, so after poking my arm over 8 times, they finally found a vein in my hand which wound up collapsing eventually, resulting in a huge bruise and a vein I can probably no longer use.  Then, so have anesthesia rendered to put me to sleep so that I wouldn’t feel the scope down my throat, only for the medicine to not put me to sleep and I be up the entire time.  These are just a small amount of issues I have with my body each day and it’s frustrating.

I have been waking up each day with a lost of drive lately.  Those that know me, know that that is unusual for me.  It’s outside of the norm of what many have come to expect from me and my personality.  I’m just so overrun with emotions that it’s frustrating and I’m frustrated.

The other day I was chatting with a friend when she basically told me… to my face, “You just need to lose the weight and everything in your health and life will be better.”  What the fuck?  Don’t you think I have already tried or am trying to do that?  Don’t you think that I know all too well that my weight is probably an issue?   I try and stay with a program day in and day out and it hasn’t worked!  So then, I ask you – why isn’t it working if you say that that is my end all, fix all?  Why?

I know I have ranted and vented in this post more than what anyone has ever seen here, but just know you may be seeing more of this.  I’m exhausted and more so exhausted of trying to explain myself to people who are supposed to support me, not tear me down.  My goal is to become the fire that is causing havoc in my life right now and not run and fear it.  So, I hope to update you all on my journey and let you know how things are going.  I have a series of different appointments with doctors coming up and I’ll be writing about those here as well… so stay tuned.

Anyway – on to Sunday letters…

Dear Kevin, my husband – You have been an unwavering support system for me and I didn’t expect anything otherwise.  I’m so thankful you are my rock for me to vent to and my shoulder to cry on and there is a reason why you are my best friend.  I don’t know how I could have gotten through these last several months without you.  Thank you for being there for me.

Dear God – Please, please give me the strength to be able to get passed this time in my life.  Whatever the issue with my body that seems like it’s failing me, please heal my body of its ailments and help to give me peace.  Please give me the strength to walk away from those that claim to be my friends but don’t realize they are putting me down while they are thinking that they are lifting me up.  And, please give me the courage to get my health back on track and my mind back to being and thinking positively.

Dear Friends (those that I talked about in this post) whether you are family or friends, this letter is for you.  I don’t despise you.  I don’t hate or and I’m certainly not mad at you, but more so disappointment in your actions.  You can be mad that I chose this route to discuss it, but I didn’t mention any names.  I can only hope and pray that God opens your eyes to how much you have hurt me.  I’m not hopeless or someone who is without hope for the future, I’m simply in a little bit of a rut at the moment.  Instead of pushing me down and making me feel more like crap and putting me deeper in depression, how’s about you offer positive reinforcement to help.  I don’t hate you, but can only hope that you can be a more positive influence instead of constantly tearing me down.

Signed,

Signature Honey

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

 

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Theodor Seuss Geisel was born on March 2, 1904 in Springfield, Massachusetts.  To think that he would 110 years old today, well – that is just amazing.  I’m sure he would be absolutely proud to see that his works and rhymes are still so relevant today was it was back then.  By the time Dr. Seuss died in 1991, he had produced more than 60 children’s books – many of which I have read as a child and continue to read to my children till this day.

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Dr. Seuss’ first children’s book – “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street”, was published in 1937 and thereafter his popular best sellers like The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham became household names.

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

Today is what we know in the Nation and Worldwide as Dr. Seuss Day – to not only celebrate this great writer but his birthday.  I figured it would be a great time to share a quote or two of his that are some of my favorites.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

A DIY on the costume the twins’ are wearing can be found here.

Signature Honey

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”

This month has been a whirlwind of go-go-go and busy-busy-busy all summed up in one.  I looked up, blinked once and now all of a sudden we are about to head into March already.  But, needless to say it has been a pretty awesome month nonetheless and there has been so much to celebrate.  Valentine’s Day came and went but I got to spend it with the four most important men in my life… my husband and sons.  And, my blog has been fairly consistent as I have wrote about 17 posts this month and slowly working my way to have a post up four to five times a week.  I’ve been working on a schedule that will hopefully work well for me and overall – I’m just proud of the accomplishments this month has offered me.  And, even prouder of myself for working towards my goals, keeping on top of my schedules and staying organized.

Kikki K Filofax

In the past I have always shared with my readers the playlists for favorite songs that keep me inspired during the month and I thought I would pick this routine up again and share with all of you.   I chose this month’s music for it’s inspirational qualities.  Sometimes we do so much for others but forget about ourselves… this month has been about finding myself, learning to forgive and move on.  I’m reminded constantly that forgiving does not mean that you have to forget… it also does not mean that you have to continue to allow yourself to be stuck in the same predicament over and over again.  This month, to me, is about living my life… engaging in the things that make me happy, that feed my soul and letting go of the things that bring me down.

“If you want to fly – give up everything that weighs you down!”

So without further adieu, here is my February Playlist… filled with songs that have given my a little inspiration this month.  I hope you enjoy!

 

February Playlist 2015

 

1.) Titanium by David Guetta featuring Sia

2.) Chandelier by Sia

3.) Habits by Tove Lo

4.) Live Your Life by T.I. Featuring Rihanna

5.) Dead and Gone by T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake

6.) Easy by The Commodores

7.) Master Blaster by Stevie Wonder

I hope you all had a wonderful February and wishing you all a fabulous March! <3

Signature Honey

We hold on so tightly, because we’re terrified of loss. We hold on till our hands bleed. And in that self-shattering persistence, we fail to see the answer: Just let go.

-Yasmin Mogahed

It’s funny how we see life sometimes…  I sometimes look at my day to day as a way to hold on to what I cannot change and do everything in my power to try and change it.  But, sometimes I have to remember that it’s not always a good thing to hold on to what you have no way to make different… and you must Just Let Go.  I hope you like the Quote of the Day!  Happy Saturday.

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I’m sure that most of you have noticed that I’ve been a bit MIA lately – or at least the last week.  My blog has been quiet and my thoughts not as visible as they normally are.  Honestly, I haven’t been feeling very well the since Saturday – but on a quick road to recovery… thankfully, I had only been running a fever with an achy body.  I hope the worst is behind me.  I have a few posts in the works, but just didn’t feel like I wanted to talk about makeup on my blog today- so I figured I would share a little Motivational Monday for all of you.  It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten personal – so here it goes.

motivational monday

“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou

Those that know me, know I’m just a humble person… always striving to make sure my Husband and Sons have what they need and making sure those around me feel wanted and loved.  But little know the struggle that I have had growing up.  Picture it… a little Hawaiian Hula Girl living in a Paradise that was not quite Paradise for me.  Don’t get it twisted, Hawaii is beautiful and is a tropical oasis filled with hopes and dreams… but it’s expensive to live here.. houses now a days averaging $800K for a 3 bedroom the size of a cottage, cars that cost $20K brand new in the States (Mainland) cost $40K here.  There is definitely a price to pay when living in Paradise.  I grew up a little girl who knew my family didn’t have much, but it didn’t keep me from my dreams and aspirations for my future.  My parents worked hard – to make sure my siblings and I had everything we needed to get where we needed to go and gave use the encouragement to push through and persevere.

So – why the reason for this post?  Well, I’m now 34 years old and while life still offers its choice of challenges, Life is Good.  Summer has hit Hawaii in full swing and the days are beautiful and warm, my family has their health and we are living good.  I have come a long way from the poor little girl with frizzy curly hair, hula skirt and rubber slippers (flip flops) and have become a well respected woman in society (although – I still rock out my rubbah slippahs).  Did it all happen over night?  Well, of course not – but I worked hard, prayed and asked God for guidance, have an awesome support system and of course – Believed in my myself.  This once poor little girl is happy and content where life has taken her and looks forward to God’s gifts bestowed upon me.

I’m not gonna lie… it is probably one of the most difficult things anyone can do… “Think Positive!”  Seriously, how is that even possible when the World is riddled with negativity ready to throw itself at you?  I’ll admit that there are times that I feel like I am surrounded by the negativeness that I try so hard to run from.  But, such is life and as a society we need to just stop and move on.  You life is your sanctuary and you must think of it as such… be rid of all the negative things or those that offer negative or unhappy thoughts and know that you are better than that.  Fill your sanctuary with love and kindness and know that you are the only thing keeping you from being who and what you want to be.  At the end of the day… You must “Believe in Yourself” or as I would say to myself in my head or out loud when I feel like times are tough or I’m in a dark place… “Believe in Me!”

Wishing you all a wonderful and fabulous week filled with thoughts of love and happiness.  Be Happy and Believe in Yourself.

A little music for your soul from Paula Fuga.

Today you are You, that is truer than true.

There is no one alive who is Youer than You.

– Dr. Seuss

I haven’t done an inspirational post in a quite a few… and I will be picking up the slack and doing them again more often – promise! 😉  I was trying to figure out what Quote I wanted to use today, but just couldn’t figure it out.  Luckily, I have an awesome Organizer that has quotes on each day and today’s quote hit it right on the money.  In the age of technology, social media and cyber bullying… we can often forget who we are as a person and when we do remember, we may want to forget.  But, know that in a World filled with adversity and challenge, you are the only person who knows you best… so BE YOU!

Have a wonderful rest of your week!  I hope you enjoy Thursday’s Inspirational Quote.

xo

 

Rose photo - Quote
Photo by HoneyXO – honeygirlsworld

If you have been keeping tabs on me over the last couple of weeks, you’ll know that it has been such a trying time on myself and my family – having lost a few loved ones, dealing with sickness and planning for other things.  I’m not going to lie, I think the word “Challenge” is short of what has happened this past month.  But nonetheless, I know that things happen and while we don’t plan to deal with it, sometimes we just have to take it all in stride.   Here’s what I say to it all… remember to love your family and be thankful that they are in your life.  Know that with any downfall, there is always something wonderful right behind that.

So – on a positive note… everyone in my immediate family seems to have gotten over their colds. Yippee!  I took the twins in to get their flu shots since they have been sick off an on pretty frequently since the new year started.  I know there are many out there that do not agree with shots, but it’s always worked for my family – no side effects in sight and I will continue to give it to them until I feel otherwise.  I’m glad they finally got it… along with their annual shots with their physical they received last week.  There was a measles outbreak on the other island next to us, so I didn’t want to take any chances.

In a few short weeks my eldest starts Basketball Season.  He’s so excited.  He didn’t play last year and really missed it.  He is really good at the game and I know he’s looking forward to playing with his new and old teammates.  I’m excited too because while he’s practicing it will give me the opportunity to take the twins to the park and get some walking in.  I’m always on my journey to losing more weight – so it’s always a great thing to find extra opportunities to get some cardio in my day.

So – my quick update was just to fill everyone in on what is going on.  At the end of the day, no matter all the difficulty and troubles… sometimes we have to stop and remember to smell the roses!  Through all of our trials and challenges, we can all often forget all the little things that make us smile – like getting over colds, an upcoming Sport season, working out or just enjoying life with your family.  Wishing you all a wonderful rest of your week.

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Today was one of those days where I stopped and thought to myself… “Okay – we are in 2014, where in the World did 2013 go?”  Honestly, 2013 flew by so quickly, I didn’t realize it till the Holidays were staring me in the face.  Regardless… it doesn’t really matter now that it is 2014 and that was the past.  One things for sure though… I know 2013 was pretty awesome (even if it went by so quickly) and 2014 will be just as great if not better.  #loveyourlife

Maui Sunset January 13, 2014

 

While driving home the other day I caught glimpse of a beautiful sunset.  Sunsets mean a lot to me… it’s something my husband and I look forward to and sometimes when we are not with one another – we look up at the sky as the sun sets and know that we are each staring at the same sun setting – just at different locations.  So seeing the sun set the other night brought major comfort to me.  That day was a bit of a challenge… The twins and my eldest were handfuls, the stores were busy and packed and traffic had me wanting to pull out my gray hair.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I weighed myself that morning and put on 2 pounds which was completely inconceivable considering I didn’t eat anything out of the norm and kept with my routine.  I was feeling frumpy, not myself and just lacked inspiration in a whole.  Seeing that sunset reminded me that I needed to stop, breath, take in the view and know that everything would be okay.  I took the photo above as a reminder of that very moment.  Sometimes in life… whether daily or once in a while – we really need to stop and smell the roses, or pull over on the side of the road and watch the sun set.   While we don’t enjoy the stressful days or the craziness we call life… it’s the little color and sparkle that makes us appreciate what we have.

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”
― Rabindranath TagoreStray Birds

Have a wonderful Week Loves!

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