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I am burdened with so many emotions right now.  Honestly, I’m excited because after months (maybe even a year) of not doing a post like this – I’m proud to say that Sunday Letters is up and running at this moment.  I’m excited because it seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been able to write like this.  But, on the other hand, I’m filled with dread and an overwhelming sense of anxiety building up inside.  My Sunday Letters posts are a way for me to get a bit personal here and a way for me to put myself out there for others to read.  I miss it, but use it as a way to hold me accountable of things I set forth for myself.  It’s been a long while since I’ve done a post like this – so I’m going to get real for a moment and get you all caught up.

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Ugh… where do I begin?  It’s already March and I have been sick so many times over the last few months that I can’t even count or begin to.  I rang in the new year with the flu and I feel like it’s just all piling up on me like the plague.  No matter what I do to get my health back in check, I find myself dwindling into the despair of sick and tired… literally.  I have also been struggling with my weight.  What the frick is up with my weight?  No matter what I do health wise, it seems like I’m putting on weight versus losing no matter the countless hours and sweat I put into trying to drop the pounds.  My skin has been freaking the frick out… like literally freaking out and my once good skin is now proving that it has an alter ego that is mean and evil.  My skin is freaking out so bad it is worst now than it had been when I was in my teens.  How is that even possible?  How could this be?

“Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it…” – R.H. Sin

I think the health issues I’ve been having over the last year have been something that has literally been keeping my faith and my energy down.  Over the last 6 months I’ve had every possible friend contact me and tell me “I have this new product line or product for you to try and it will make your health better, help you lose weight.”  Trust when I say I have heard it all.  What I really want to tell these friends is that “I’m not your get rich quick guinea pig that you can dump your new product on to make money off of.”  I know, I might be a little harsh here, but it’s true.  Instead of telling me… “I’m sorry that you are going through this, how can I help?”  I get “hey, try this product and start using it faithfully and it will help you get better quick.”  Who the frick do these people think they are talking to?  I’m just over it.

Over the last 8 months, I have had more tests done to me than people have had in their lifetime.  And, I might add – these are not easy on my body.  Taking blood is like seeing a vampire for a neck bite.  I don’t have easy veins and they are what phlebotomist call “disappearing veins” because they move or you think they are there but it’s all an illusion.  Just to get a blood test done, I get poked and prodded over 5 times and then the blood suckers don’t even get enough blood to complete their testing.  I had to have a CT Scan and Endoscopy done within the last 8 months as well and the CT scan required the technician to send me to an ultrasound tech to find my veins so he could start my IV, a procedure that should have taken 15 minutes took 2 hours.  My Endoscopy – again, finding my vein to start my IV posed a challenge for the nurses, so after poking my arm over 8 times, they finally found a vein in my hand which wound up collapsing eventually, resulting in a huge bruise and a vein I can probably no longer use.  Then, so have anesthesia rendered to put me to sleep so that I wouldn’t feel the scope down my throat, only for the medicine to not put me to sleep and I be up the entire time.  These are just a small amount of issues I have with my body each day and it’s frustrating.

I have been waking up each day with a lost of drive lately.  Those that know me, know that that is unusual for me.  It’s outside of the norm of what many have come to expect from me and my personality.  I’m just so overrun with emotions that it’s frustrating and I’m frustrated.

The other day I was chatting with a friend when she basically told me… to my face, “You just need to lose the weight and everything in your health and life will be better.”  What the fuck?  Don’t you think I have already tried or am trying to do that?  Don’t you think that I know all too well that my weight is probably an issue?   I try and stay with a program day in and day out and it hasn’t worked!  So then, I ask you – why isn’t it working if you say that that is my end all, fix all?  Why?

I know I have ranted and vented in this post more than what anyone has ever seen here, but just know you may be seeing more of this.  I’m exhausted and more so exhausted of trying to explain myself to people who are supposed to support me, not tear me down.  My goal is to become the fire that is causing havoc in my life right now and not run and fear it.  So, I hope to update you all on my journey and let you know how things are going.  I have a series of different appointments with doctors coming up and I’ll be writing about those here as well… so stay tuned.

Anyway – on to Sunday letters…

Dear Kevin, my husband – You have been an unwavering support system for me and I didn’t expect anything otherwise.  I’m so thankful you are my rock for me to vent to and my shoulder to cry on and there is a reason why you are my best friend.  I don’t know how I could have gotten through these last several months without you.  Thank you for being there for me.

Dear God – Please, please give me the strength to be able to get passed this time in my life.  Whatever the issue with my body that seems like it’s failing me, please heal my body of its ailments and help to give me peace.  Please give me the strength to walk away from those that claim to be my friends but don’t realize they are putting me down while they are thinking that they are lifting me up.  And, please give me the courage to get my health back on track and my mind back to being and thinking positively.

Dear Friends (those that I talked about in this post) whether you are family or friends, this letter is for you.  I don’t despise you.  I don’t hate or and I’m certainly not mad at you, but more so disappointment in your actions.  You can be mad that I chose this route to discuss it, but I didn’t mention any names.  I can only hope and pray that God opens your eyes to how much you have hurt me.  I’m not hopeless or someone who is without hope for the future, I’m simply in a little bit of a rut at the moment.  Instead of pushing me down and making me feel more like crap and putting me deeper in depression, how’s about you offer positive reinforcement to help.  I don’t hate you, but can only hope that you can be a more positive influence instead of constantly tearing me down.

Signed,

Signature Honey

NOTHING TO DISCLOSE

 

Yay, I’m finally ALIVE!  No, seriously – I’ve been in bed and seriously nursing the flu and then a cold for the last week, ringing in the new year in bed.  I finally feel like I can get it together and get on the grind to start 2017.  Hey, I’m only 7 or 8 days late – right? lol.  Since I’m finally moving around and starting the year, I figured I would share my 2017 goals.  These goals consist of those that are personal, blogging or anything in between.  What I love about sharing them here on the blog, is that it kind of holds me accountable and that way I have no excuse but to keep on top of them.  Let’s get started shall we?

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1.)  Lose Weight.  This may seem like a given for anyone, especially those like me in my particular circumstance.  But, the fact is – I’m slowly getting my health back in order and plan to not only continue eating healthier, but also really work on improving my self image and health overall – both physically and mentally.

Sub-goals: Make sure that I a) include more vegetables in my daily meal intake.  b) try to eliminate the carbs and starches that plague me badly – i.e. reduce my rice, noodles and bread intake. c) reduce meal portion sizes while making sure I am eating through the day (my biggest issue is that I don’t have time to eat, so I must make time to eat).  And, d) continue to increase my exercise daily.

2.)  Be smart with purchases.  Only buy new products when I’m running low or when I’ve actually run out of them.  As a makeup addict, I often times find myself ooing and ahhing over the newest thing.  In 2016, I did really well with purchases and didn’t purchase everything and anything that was newly released.  This year, in 2017, I want to incorporate the same but really stick to it.  After destashing  and donating a lot of cosmetic items for 2016, I realized that I need to truly use what I already have.  Money hard earned should be money well spent and buying makeup items only to have them sit since I only have one face, well – I have better things to do with my finances.  I want to continue minimal self spending and splurging and continue to buy less – no matter what it may be… makeup, skin care, planners, pens, whatever.

3.)  Get organized.  This may seem like an easy task for someone like me who likes structure, but the fact of the matter is… I could do so much better.  My desk – while I can find whatever it is I’m looking for, is a mess.  While my time scheduling is organized and structured, my paperwork is a mess and I would love to bring more organization to my household overall.  This may seem like an easy task for one person, but I balance the organization for a whole household of 5 members and I would love to be able to really kick it in gear and get it together.

Sub-goals:  a) I would like to organize the paperwork on my desk and in my files.  Trying to reduce paper clutter and keep it at a minimum, keeping only the papers that are needed.  I would like to come up with a proper filing system so that I have an easier time with paperwork.  b)  I really need to organize our household better.  Each month we take donations and try to keep clutter at a minimum, but I think there is so much more I could do.  And, c) I need to organize my time better.  This is important since I work from  home.  I need to be able to organize my work and home schedule to try and make sure I have enough time in the day to accomplish all the things I need to do.

4.)  Wear my hair down more.  This may seem like something that is already being done in my life… but the fact of the matter is, I still consistently wear my hair up in a bun or pulled back.  I need to embrace my natural curls and my hair and really need to find the time and effort to get it under control so that I can wash and wear it easily – without constantly pulling it up.  Since I wear my hair up so often, I am quite accustomed to not having anything in my face and that in it’s own is a difficult thing to get used to.  My goal is to commit to wearing my hair down at least 2x a week so I can get used to it without sacrificing the “on-the-go” lifestyle I live.

5.)  Wear more dresses or dress up more.  Come on now, I have really never been a dress wearing girl.  I’m a tomboy and will wear a pair of jeans or shorts with a t-shirt as much as possible if allowed.  I would like to dress up a little more or wear more dresses so that I’m not so casual.  There’s nothing wrong with dressing casually – it’s just that I do it so much, I forget what it is like to dress up sometimes.  By putting on a dress or just adding a little more flair to my outfits, I think it would make a world of a difference.

6.)  Eliminate the negativity and keep positive, striving for joy.  This particular goal may seem like an easy one, but trust me when I say it has been anything but easy the last few years.  I would like to do everything in my power to eliminate the negativity and strive for joy.  By keeping the negative nancys out of my personal bubble and keeping positive aspirations, goals and overall happiness in my life – I think I can accomplish this goal.  Spreading joy and happiness where I go while not feeding into others negative thoughts will make a huge difference in my life.

7.)  Back to Lifestyle posts.  Honeygirl’s World is technically a lifestyle blog and boy do I miss it.  I feel like I’ve focused so much on product reviews or beauty and skin care over the last year, that I have lost sight of where my passion lies.  I love sharing new products or reviews with all of you – but I also want to really incorporate more of my life on the blog.  That is how I started blogging to begin with – to document my life’s story.  So, my goal this year is to incorporate at least one lifestyle post a week.  Whether it be to share my weight loss and health journey each week, post Sunday letters or just sum up life with my family each week – it’s my goal to go back to it and keep at it.  Honeygirl’s World is my life, my world and I need to get back to my roots and remember where I started and how I got here.

Of course, a new year comes with new goals and I’m sure I’ll have a plethora more to add to this list as the year progresses. While many of these goals may seem a bit simplistic – it may not be that case for many because it’s all a matter of changing the way one thinks and how they proceed to do things.  Since Honeygirl’s World is a lifestyle site, I plan to come back in the coming months and share how I’m accomplishing these goals and if I have had an positive change.

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I wish all of you reading this a wonderful New Year.  Whether you are making goals for yourself to accomplish or just plan on living life to its fullest, or both – may your year be filled with joy and happiness.

Signature Honey


Disclaimer:  This post may feature affiliate links or referral links.  For more details and outline of my product review disclosures and policies, affiliate links, etc. please visit myDisclosures page. 

I have always loved dressing up and look forward to events so I was very excited to be invited to attend the Royal Order of King Kamehameha 150th Year Jubilee Ball.  This beautiful event is held every so many years but this year, being the 150th Anniversary made for a huge event.  The event took place at the beautiful Grand Wailea Resort in the Haleakala Ballroom and Garden on Saturday, April 9, 2016.  My husband and I were quite excited and while it was last minute that we were invited to go, we were able to pull together our attire in time for the event.

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The color for the event this year was red, so I chose to go with a red dress.  I always love the way I look in red so it was an easy choice.  Finding a dress for my plus sized self was not an easy task however, but I’m glad I found a beautiful dress last minute and it fit perfectly.  The affair was a formal event which meant suit and tie for gentlemen and gown for ladies were required. Everyone was dressed up fancy and beautiful.

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There was dinner and entertainment.  For dinner we were served a sit down 5 course dinner which consisted of a fusion of Hawaiian and local cuisine.  My husband and I really enjoyed the food and entertainment was wonderful as well.

 

Above is a video with my snapchat timeline from that evening. I was so busy having a grand time and enjoying the night that I didn’t have a chance to vlog or to take a lot of photos, but I tried to snap as much as possible.  I did take photos of each course we enjoyed for dinner.  Our 5 courses included the following:

Course 1 – Amuse Bouche, Ahi Poisson Cru with fresh Cilantro, Coconut Milk and Moloka’i Pa’akai.
Course 2 – Pohole Salad with housemade pipikaula, maui onion, dried shrimp, pea shoots and haiku tomato with Rolls and Lilikoi (passion fruit) butter
Course 3 – Roast Pork wrapped and baked in Ti- Leaf, served over ‘Uala (sweet potato), Lu’au, Inamona and Chicharron. Served with white rice family style
Course 4 – Lilikoi Haupia Brown Butter Cake with Haupia, Kula Strawberries and Chantilly
Course 5 – Friandise, Chocolate Truffles and Tea or Coffee

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Of course, since we were in an ambient setting and the lighting was not the greatest, photos were not as clear as I would have liked… but I wanted to share this wonderful evening with all of you.  I had a great time and it was such a special event.  There are few events like this here on Maui so it was so nice to be able to attend.

I literally felt like I was going to prom.  Everyone was dressed up and looked wonderful.  It’s interesting because it literally was the adult version of a prom, but with a full service bar and adult conversations.  I love that as we get older, the uncomfortable feeling we get around our peers tends to dwindle – which is quite different from how it was as we were teens.  The event was beautiful, food a wonderful delight and I enjoyed every minute of it.  It was a wonderful way to finish our week of celebrations for my husband and I for our wedding anniversary.  15 years married and a wonderful ball – I say it was a grand time.

Signature Honey

Disclaimer:  It goes to say that none of this was sponsored and everything was paid out of pocket.

Have you ever had those days when you wake up and feel like an epiphany has completely taken over your body?  The feeling overwhelms you and leaves you stunned and in awe.  I swear, it seems like over the last month I have been going through this very thing several times a week.  It delights me that I can go to bed in the evening and wake up the next morning with my head filled with thoughts that I simply can’t wait to get onto paper.  This has been my routine lately and my mind is telling me to pay attention to the signs as they are what my heart is telling me my soul wants.  In 2015, everything I did and everything I strived for had to do with self discovery, finding out who I am and what I want out of life.  It was about growth, not only for myself but my family and about strength because we had to really rely on one another to ensure success or simply to just get by.  This year, I want to take everything I learned from 2015 and incorporate it into my personal “Planner” so to say, that will enable success and ultimately, help me to achieve my life goals.  Let’s face it, living life is an accomplishment already and last year was a challenge all its own.

Hello 2016 - This Life I Love

So, what’s in store and what’s new for Honey?  Well, first of all I really feel like over the years I lost my identity and who I truly am and last year after really accomplishing so much more than I thought I ever could personally, I realized that the little changes I made to my routine and myself created a monster.  Not the scary, freaky and ugly kind, but the kind that really wasn’t satisfied with everything or anything.  I should be tapping myself on the back, applauding my accomplishments and realizing that not only am a I strong, confident and beautiful woman but that I attained and superseded a plethora of goals I had and I didn’t even realize it.

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.” – Maya Angelou

This year 2016 my mind has been made up.  My goal is to engage in my thoughts and bring them all to life.  Like an artist takes to his canvas or a writer to paper, my plan is to really embrace who I am as a person and use that as my strengths, not my weaknesses.  One of the things I plan to do is start with making changes to my blog – I know, I know, yet again.  I realized a lot about myself last year and that is that I lost my sense of personal identity on my site.  I found that I was producing content that lost my personal sense of style.  I love doing product reviews and I really truly enjoy trying new products and new things – but I lost the embodiment of what Honeygirl’s World really is… My World, My Life – the things I love.  My site turned into a plethora of beauty (which isn’t a bad thing), but while my reviews showcased my personality, I felt that I still lost a lot of who I really am.  This year I plan to incorporate more of me into the site and retro back to what it used to be when I first starting blogging.  My site will not only be for reviewing my favorite products, but sharing bits and pieces of who I am and what I love.  I kind of feel like all of that got lost over the years and I plan to bring it all back.  I started Honeygirl’s World as a way to document my life and that is where I plan to take it once again.

Hello 2016 - This Life I Love

So what can you expect from me?  Well, as if I wasn’t a blatantly honest soul – you can expect that much and more.  I really want to hold myself accountable for all the things that I let slack over the years.  My goal is to keep on top of YouTube, posting three or more videos a week – we’ll see how that turns out and just keep that portion of my life much more organized.  I want to really keep on top of my blog – posting 5x or more a week, preferably more and work at keeping the content fresh and exciting but also weave in so much more of myself that you’ll feel like we are bff’s and know me on a personal level.  I want to also check off things from my bucket list and in order to do that I must be more diligent and really make this “Stay at Home, Work From Home Mom” thing work.  I want to make even more time for family… my family – my husband and children are my everything and so this year I plan to really be “Super Mom & Wife”.

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love…” – Jim Carrey

In a week, I’ll be turning 36 years old and I’ve reached that point in my life where I don’t think I’m even old… the 30’s are the new 20’s anyway.  I’ve embraced my looks, my beauty and what I look like on the outside so now I just need to embrace my beauty on the inside and continue to feed my soul.  Will you be on this journey with me?  I hope you’ll stick around and see!

Wishing you all a wonderful 2016 and a year filled with endless blessings and happiness!

xo

Signature Honey

 

Hello my loves and WELCOME TO 2015.  I would be lying… if I said that I was ready to start 2015 with a bang.  Let’s face it, it just about smacked me across my face silly like a baseball out of left field… hmmm… did I even explain that correctly? lol  Needless to say, I really have no choice but to welcome it with open arms now that it’s here and embrace all of its many wonders while preparing myself for a year I wasn’t ready for and saying goodbye to one I wasn’t yet wanting to let go of.  As I stop and think about it all… I’m not really sad to see 2014 go… I mean, while it had some awesome benefits – seriously, the latter of the year wasn’t on my favorite’s list – so c’est la vie.  I am proud to say that while the year offered challenges that I overcame, it also opened my eyes to things I didn’t expect to experience but because of such, I am now going into 2015 with an open mind, a different outlook on life – a positive one, and an appreciation for what I have.  I am able to close the books on 2014 (well, with exception to taxes of course) and confident that I can leave all that funky excess baggage, drama and what ever else I wasn’t happy with in the past and move forward.

Ohana Means Family New Years 2015

I’ve made a few goals for 2015 and while I’m not going to share them all with you, I thought I would use a few of them as a way to bring positiveness into your day and hopefully give you a bit of organization and tools for the new year.  One of the things I have been wanting to focus on in 2014, but didn’t get around to is to incorporate daily planning and organization in my life.  Don’t laugh… while it may seem like I am all put together behind the scenes, I tend to let things like my daily planning fall through the cracks.  Let’s face it – being a mother of 3 very active boys (2 of which are twins) and a wife to a busy busy hubby keeps me on my toes.  With proper organization, my hope is that I will not let things fall through the cracks… like blog posts – for example.  I get so backed up with things I feel like I NEED to do that I tend to let the things I WANT to do fall through.  After looking through my blog this year, while I am so proud of the accomplishments I have made, it seems as though the “personal” touches that made my blog “me”… was lacking.  With proper “blog management” and “goals” along with Daily Planning and even some journaling – I think that I can not only accomplish a lot more effectively – but also be efficient with my blog, daily duties and even unleash some of my creative side in my journal again and therefore giving me some outlet and release that I think I may be lacking in.  Since I know this is not an easy task, I am in the process of putting together a daily or weekly (not sure which yet) task list that will allow me to get it all in order.  I will share that printable with all of you once I have had the chance to finalize it.  But for now, writing things down – holding myself accountable and giving myself deadlines will help in getting this important goal in check.

Whew… long winded, I know.  But this is just a sneak peak of all things to come here.  I really took a backseat in how I have been wanting things to be and now I have really decided that while I can’t have control over everything in my life… some things I just have to let go of… this, I know I can control and it’s my goal to do so.

Wishing you all a wonderful and fabulous 2015.  I’m 5 days into the year and already feel refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to take it all on.  It’s going to be a fabulous year – you just wait and see!  So, your first post, a letter from the editor… is all about awesomeness in 2015.

Smooches & lots of wishes for blessings, love, happiness and prosperity!

Signature Honey